I woke up at 5am with this brilliant idea to win back my lover of yore. A figurative lightbulb shown above me - zing! Shall I write an epic ballad for my erstwhile paramour, surely that will bring him back in to my good graces and he will be mine again. Surely? All I must do is accurately explicate my love and adoration. Long ago I wrote a poem about a long, lost friend Frogstein... When this friend went missing, I felt the same woeful malaise that I am feeling now.... but even more so now. Perhaps I could interchange Frogstein with Billstein? Hmmm... Billy is not bright, beautiful and green. He is beautiful, but he also didn't live outside a pool and get run over so that probably won't work.
When first I gazed upon him
(more like I stared)
From his long curly hair...
to the warm smile he proffered,
Neath a nevus like Cindy Crawford
Could he be as sweet...
as he was aesthetically pleasing?
Indeed he was, full of vim.
Ok this is truly terrible and I should probably sleep more before I must drag myself to work. God, I fucking miss him. This distance and uncertainty are really driving me mad. A few days ago, I slept with a non-Billy and while it was fun.... left me feeling despondent and even further away from him. I don't want to do that again. I did nothing wrong b/c despite my endeavors, he is not my boyfriend again. At least, not yet.
I had a really nice birthday. I felt very loved by my friends and family. I got to spend time with a girlfriend I had not seen in ages. I helped her run lines for a short film she is doing tomorrow and that made me miss LA even more. I love running lines with my actor friends! Looking forward to a comedy show tomorrow after work.
Ugh.... I miss Billy. I wish he was here right now so I could lick ranch dressing off his beautiful penis. The organic Opa's brand though. I have standards.
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