the hipster kit
follow up to my comic:
**It also helps to be sickly thin to the near point of emaciation**
THE ACT
(1.) Know all the coolest hangouts.
(2.) Know the most popular 5 crappy indie bands and blabber about them incessantly.
(3.) Go to said cool hangouts, snort a line in the bathroom, purchase a $2 lonestar, and blabber incessantly about said crappy bands and the philosophical ideas of Ayn Rand.
(4.) To avoid answering "I'm a 24 year old pizza boy" when asked what you do you can shout "Whoa, my favorite Editors song!" and run to the center of the dancing scenester sluts and start flailing your arms and dry humping the drunkest looking one. She'll probably make out with you. Also, anyone you may meet and converse with for longer than 5 minutes would probably appreciate this move in order to avoid punching you for annoying the crap out of them.
**WARNING**
Being a neat and cool hipster still won't prevent you from being lured into hipster traps or getting your annoying ass punched by a redneck....
). However, she had one teacher that made the students feel as if they would fail in the real world if they did not do well in his class. So far, her favorite subject has been art because the teacher made class fun. If this interview had not been hastily conducted through the use of Gmail as a trusty liaison, I would’ve inquired as to whether or not she was referring to that crazy old Ms. Green, who in my opinion could’ve been easily confused with an inebriated derelict. Her least favorite class was biology because she found the subject matter difficult and the lectures subpar. I assume she did not have Coach Spalding (a super hot Bolivian that was married to this harridan lunch monitor) or Mr. Wardell (my high school B.F.F.’s father), who were both incredible biology teachers.