work work work

Well I've picked up one other part time job to help supplement the income I am missing since I lost my Facebook gig. It's a trash valet at an apartment complex, picking up garbage and recycling outside people's doors from 8 to 11 Sunday through Thursday. And the pay is not great either. The draw is getting paid to walk up and down stairs for 3 hours 5 days a week though. Haha. I will be in such good shape! This is temporary too. Also, I will be so busy working my day job and this job, I will not have time to go do frivolous activities like drinking and dining out. So I'll be spending less and making (a little) money.

Tomorrow after work I have an interview for a banquet staff position on the weekends. Pay is $15/hour and its for weekend events. That's decent pay for banquet staffing. I've done the work before and know what to expect. I used to work weddings in Driftwood many years ago. It wasn't bad except for the time the best man grabbed me and shoved his tongue down my throat. That was... alarming. I guess I looked irresistible that day. That or the open tequila bar... or both. So if I get that job I will be busy weekends doing that.

Both aforementioned jobs together will still be less money than what I pulled in working for Facebook, but an extra $1000 a month is essential if I want to have enough money to move to LA. Rather than be bitter about losing that awesome job, I choose to be grateful that I had it as long as I did. And I choose to be proactive about finding solutions to remove any obstacle that stands between me and my goals.

My goals? Move to California. Find a great job using my degree. And be with the man I love. I was pretty much standing in my own way and my own obstacle for the latter. Mostly doing things that pushed him further away. I don't think I am doing that anymore. When I left LA last year and Billy ended things and cut off contact, I fell in to such a deep depression I lost my sense of self and any direction that I had. I got kinda obsessed too... believing he was the only thing in this world that would make me happy. Which is ridiculous b/c I was a mess when I was his girlfriend. I do believe we could be very happy together though and that we compliment each other well. I don't need him though and I no longer believe that he is the be-all end-all and essential to my happiness.

Honestly, I have my doubts about him lately. He has not shown me much kindness in the past year. I made mistakes and ruined our relationship and he was rightfully angry and pulled away. However, I've since made great strides and feel that it would be a good time to start anew with him. At least, that is what I want to propose when I see him next. I'm at an impasse for how things are currently. I really hope he is willing to give us a real chance again. To talk to me daily and to come visit me in Austin... and to make plans to start a life together when I move back to California.

I feel a lot of relief knowing that I'll be ok... and even happy eventually... should Billy choose not ever be with me again. Since I saw him, I have not been preoccupied worrying about him. I've been focused on my own life and goals. Though I'm blissfully content that he is a part of my life and that I get to look forward to seeing him again soon.

Today/last night was a sad day. ~58 people shot in Las Vegas and we lost Tom Petty. 😓😔 Tom Petty will always remind me of my dad. 💕