So much happiness after the sad

I'm feeling really good about life these days now that the sadness of losing my baby has subsided. I have never been in love like this before and it feels so incredible. And he is uprooting his life to come here and be with me which is kinda unbelievable b/c I know he loves Los Angeles. I'm grateful and I will show him every day. And he didn't have the best notions about Texas, but I think Austin has grown on him a bit. He's going to love it here. Honestly, I had my heart set on moving to LA to be with him. I love California so so so much and maybe we will move there one day. However, Austin just makes the most sense. I love my job. Like seriously... I love it. My coworkers are becoming my friends that I spend time with outside of work. I feel like I can be myself at work and I am accepted. I am good at my job and appropriately compensated with benefits. It's a great company that I feel proud to be a part of. I have my parents here and my grandparents. I love seeing my parents every week when I go there to do laundry. And when Billy and I have a baby, they will be such a great help. They are such wonderful grandparents! And we can actually afford to buy a home here soon, albeit mobile... but that's good enough for us. I'm stoked about it, actually. I'm happy that Billy has lots of possibilities ahead of him careerwise. He wasn't happy at his last job b/c he wasn't treated very well. And we are in a position where he has some time to find something he enjoys which is rare and wonderful. His happiness is of utmost importance to me. When he smiles, my heart melts.

I have made so many friends in the past year. Real friends that are kind, supportive, amazing people. I don't know how I got so blessed. I think back on times in my life where I was so incredibly low and wanted to die, abominably afflicted with depression and I am so grateful I lived through those times to see the woman I am today. I am strong, confident, kind and driven. I am going to be a great wife and an even better mother. There were long stints in my life where I thought this world would be a better place without me and I tried to leave it. Thank god I didn't b/c I now know that I am valuable and I love myself very much.

💖