Behind Closed Doors (favorite Rise Against song)

Chairs thrown and tables toppled,
Hands armed with broken bottles,
Standing no chance to win but,
We're not running, we're not running.

There's a point I think we're missing,
It's in the air we raise our fists in,
In the smiles we cast each other,
My sister, my brother.

About the time we gave up hoping
We'd ever find these locks still open,
Stumbling on stones unturned,
The hurt we feel, we all have earned.

The lines we cross in search of change,
but all they see is treason.

Although we have no obligation to stay alive
On broken backs we beg for mercy, we will survive
(Break out) I won't be left here
Behind closed doors.

Bonfires burn like beacons,
Guiding the lost and weakened.
Flames dance on crashing waves,
Guiding ships who've gone astray

Time out, let's stop and think this through,
We've all got better things to do,
Than talk in circles, run in place,
Answers {are} inches from our face.

Although we have no obligation to stay alive
On broken backs we beg for mercy, we will survive
(Break out) I won't be left here
Behind closed doors.

Black eyes, broken fingers,
Blood drips and I let it run
down my lips into my swollen gums.
When hope is non-existent,
Our instincts all scream "Run",
We never turn our backs or even bite our tongues.

Although we have no obligation to stay alive
On broken backs we beg for mercy, we will survive
(Break out) I won't be left here
Behind closed doors.

My review of Moonrise Kingdom

Think My Girl meets Romeo and Juliet with a scintilla of Die Hard... but a bit less tragic. Hauntingly beautiful. Inordinately adorable. Wes Anderson, you've done it again. I laughed. I cried. A film of adventure, triumph over adversity, and an impossible romantic tearful ending... I'll walk away with a sigh of relief and hope in my heart that true love CAN last after all.

This was an incredibly moving film. See it now. Like, immediately.

Revolution Thru Unity

A nation divided by individuality
Entitlement propriety sans reciprocity
Forgotten due dilligence
Self preservation takes precedence
In our struggles to be free
Have we forgotten about compassion
And martin luthers dream?
That one day we will join hands
And the color of our eyes
Of no more importance than our skin
Trite preconceived notions
Give way to malevolent sin
We'll abscond into deep blue seas
Involuntarily
San Andreas is no facade
This is not about a God
Or omniscience illusory
But hatred lying deep within
Can we not just love each other?
Bc we are only HUMAN
we all deserve to be free
Truth be told, it's possible
By way of unity
Life is improbable
Love is revolution
So don't hate
Just give in
Love thy neighbor
Love within
Love is revolution
And all that lies above
Ambiguous creator
We know not why we sin
We live, we love, we compromise
We give in endeavoring to win
Unite
Unite without doubt
Equality's what it's about
Unite without lies
Forgiveness in our hearts
Unite
We're stronger now together
Than we EVER were apart
Unity through equality
Equality through love
Love of each other...
Father, mother, sister, brother
Friend and foe
Love of the earth
and the heavens above
Love is revolution
Revolution is love

By: Lena S. Hoffman
Thanksgiving 2009

Riches to Rags

From riches
To rags
Til I'm sleepin' w/ fishes
Ashes to ashes
The dust in tha ditches
I'll sleep here
I'll sleep there
I'll sleep in your wishes
The tear stains
The dew drops
I'm supine, I'm listless
Suffer the sinner
Punish the witness
I'm ruthless
I'm vindictive
I'm a woman, a vixen
And you are NOT forgiven
I'm not your pawn
I'm not your muse
I loathe your existence
I was your endeavor
You thought you were clever
Now this storm...
You'll have to weather
My storm, my maelstrom
Tears of destruction
Post seduction
At this junction
I reckon you'll die
And I'll stand and watch laughing
This world can no longer function

<3
Leens :-)

Berawan & Jolo, an attempt at unbiased extrospection

Apr 2, 2008

Berawan & Jolo, an attempt at unbiased extrospection

Cultural Anthropology is the study of multifarious interactions among all cultures of the world. Ethnocentrism often entails the belief that one’s own race or ethnic group is the most important and/or that some or all aspects of its culture are superior to those of other groups. Within this ideology, individuals will judge other groups in relation to their own particular ethnic group or culture, especially with concern to language, behaviour, customs, and religion. -wiki

Xenophobes, beware. The following cultural tales will astound as they are aberrantly taboo [and therefore incredibly interesting].

The Berawan of Borneo

Located in Southeast Asian, Borneo is the 3^rd largest island in the world. Rather than ignore death and the elderly steadily approaching it like Americans so often do, the Berawan embrace death and cherish the elderly. Decomposition is linked to the spiritual extrication from the flesh. Qualms do not exist among them to be around the deceased. Traditionally, decomposition takes place in methodic double funerals. I am uncertain if they still practice the subsequent procedures I will describe. During the first funeral, the body is sat upright in the room during a large feast. The Berawan family typically resides in a long house sans partitions. Often, the family will put the deceased in a sealed ceramic jar to expedite the putrefaction. For the purpose of psychological adjustment of loss and respite, they leave the quiescent carrion in the jar for a minimum of 8 months. Money is saved for the subsequent funeral where the jar is opened and the flesh is picked off in order to free the spirit. A feast is held to celebrate the disintegration of human remains that have enabled the soul to separate and move on to the next realm of existence. Consequently, they are overcome with delectation. Also, during said feast the layer of "liquid grandma" [as Professor Garber referred to it] from the bottom of the jar is incorporated into the feast by being poured over the rice.

Jolo Serpent Handlers of Appalachia

Mark 16:15-18 (New King James Version)

15 And He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature. 16 He who believes and is baptized will be saved; but he who does not believe will be condemned. 17 And these signs will follow those who believe: In My name they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; 18 they will take up serpents; and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them; they will lay hands on the sick, and they will recover."

Required serpents are assumed to be poisonous and Jolo Serpent throwers solely handle rattlesnakes and copper heads during their ceremonial harangue. Snakes are twirled around the room, floundering aimlessly. Some Jolo are bit over 60 times. They do not subscribe to traditional modern medicine to ameliorate their injuries. Rather, they feel the bite is an egregious harbinger that serves as God’s castigation. The risk of serpent handling is made worthwhile by the promise of eternal salvation. Also, prior to the handling, the serpent is "washed" with cold water. This serves as an unintentional subterfuge to produce a languid state as snakes are cold-blooded and subject to temperature change from their surrounding environment.

---------------------
 

It is difficult to look at both of the aforementioned cultural accounts without biased based on our own culture. Honestly, the idea of a loved one decomposing a few feet away is horrifying; mostly because of the biological logic that it would be pungently odiferous. The bible leaves room for loose interpretation, as does rules and regulations laid down by the law. Assuming the snakes must be poisonous seems somewhat asinine, but I suppose people take risks in many different ways throughout their lives. However, I take umbrage that this takes place among children innocently growing up in a religion they are not old enough to understand and choose to actively participate in.

It is interesting stuff, I think.

- Anthro Leens

iChest: the cooler that does it all!!!

 

Ichest is your ultimate cooler for all of those outdoor events in your life.  Unlike other coolers with speakers, the ichest is designed to hold the maximum amount of food and beverages.  With an easy access recharge port, audio cable port, volume knob, and on/off switch, the ichest is made for everyone.  

$229.00 

 

  I want one!!!

I suggest you go like them on Facebook and tell your friends. We all need one of these for iChest emergencies. Fun!!! :-)

Men have sports bars... I have an idea.

I like to hang at zee bar to take care of business on my laptop... whether that may be social networking, looking at porn, studying for the GRE, working on my HTML skills for my website, helping friends and clients w/ their resumes, offering advice to my friends to quickly assist them in getting out of jams, doing Calculus homework, etc.

Now the closest bar to me is a sports bar and I love the staff here. My bartenders are stellar. I love the professionalism. I love the A.C., the food, the extensive beer selection on draft. The only minute problem is that I abhor sports. They are so boring! I just had an brilliant idea:

A "sports" bar for women, but instead of playing sports it's all E all day... Kardashians for hours and then E true hollywood stories, Fashion Police, Talk Soup... it's my personal wet dream! Then when men showed up to pick us up and bother us... we'd be like "Shhh!!! OMG, Khloe is so cray cray! I know she din-int!!!!" But I wouldn't mind the dudes coming for a little bit of attention whilst they admire my goodies. AS LONG AS THEY ARE BUYING ME DRINKS. 

Ok, as soon as I am drunk enough to go to the bank w/out dying of bank anxiety (b/c the bank is boring and stressful).. I am going to see about getting a small business loan for my new, genious idea! Yes! I'll just draw a diagram of boobs like that episode of Sunny. 

reminisce.

Leslie at SXSW 2006. I miss him and when he ran for mayor... I effin' voted him. No regrets!!!

Back before the buses insisted on running people over all the time. Is this Austin... or is this San Francisco?? :-/

frogstein

Jun 30, 2007

a poem I wrote for a long lost friend...

Current mood:lonely

Ode to Frogstien*

Oh, his name was Frogstien.
Into my life he came.
He was bright, beautiful, and green.
Life shall never be the same
after the night he packed up his lily
and caught the midnight train
to frog heaven...
that's where he'll be.

It's nearing eleven
but outside he's nowhere to be seen....
Oh lordy! Praise Jeebus in frog heaven!
What happened to my Frogstien?
For three weeks it must have been
he sat in the net hole just beside the shallow end.
No longer is he there!
Oh, Frogstein, hear my keen!

Never will I see his little head again
poking from the hole just beside the shallow end.
Now I swim alone
for my little Frogstien's dead.
*Two summers ago there was a toad who hung out by my pool. He poked his little head out from the hole that the volleyball net poles went into. It was his lil hang out... He'd be chillin' w/ Greg and I on all our drunken pool nights. Then one day he was gone. We lamented his absense... I speculated it was his death. His name... was Frogstien [I had thought he was a frog]. I miss him... and I miss Greg, the world's best Ham, more!

The Canvasser

The Canvasser

As I relax, in the evening, sans slacks
there came a knock at my door..
Who doth impede my leisure?
With zealous impropriety, stood a soliciting boor.
"What have you, this evening? Elucidate your bourn...
I haven't any funds. Currently, I'm rather poor."
"Blah, blah, blah.. Please donate..
to the environmental campaign."
"Sir, I work for the environment. 8 hours every day.."
"For donations we ask for $30, maybe 38"
"I said I have no money so accept it and good day."
I do more for the environment
than hippies asking for (monetary) change.
Canvasser, stay away.

regulating. it's what i am good at.

Jan 24, 2008

Regulatin’

I'm no longer an investigator, but I still see environmental violations pretty often and that's when I miss the regulating portion of that job. This one is close to home... I mean like 50 feet so i'm not going to let it slide [into the creek haha].

There are 2 piles of construction debris outside of this construction site's Limits of Construction (LOC) that are actually on my apartment's parking lot and have begun sliding down into Aroyo Seco Creek. My coworker/neighbor and I got a hold of the construction plans submitted to [and approved by] the City of Austin and I got to see the schematics for their erosion and sediment controls.




The 2 red x's mark the piles of debris from the picture. In this close up you can where the LOC (limits of construction) is marked and where piles of debris are located. Even if they were w/in the LOC they would still need to have some silt fence below them to keep it from sliding in the creek... which is already happening.

They builders haven't been on site working since I noticed this violation, but as soon as I see them I intend to ask them to remove the piles of debris. We went ahead and notified the City of Austin since they did approve this plan and the builders aren't working in accordance w/ it.

Irresponsible construction like this is ubiquitous and a major environmental problem that can be detrimental to sensitive areas like this creek. I notice stuff like this all the time now and it's really frustrating b/c I know the state does not have the means to catch all violators and enforce corrective action. Why can't people just do the right thing in the first place... and build according to their approved plans? Oh, yes... b/c they are lazy and cheap.

AIM chats from my cubicle days... Kimrod, Megs Bettis, etc.

more leenie & kimrod workday musings

leenie: man crazy cat lady was like having a square dancing hoedown w/ all her cats or some shit last night..

KimRod (GSMotNKK): was there country music and meowing?

leenie: there was like stomping and cat squeals of joy

or terror

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  likely, terror. not many cats like doe-see-doeing or being twirled about

Is she the one with the basset hound with the huge ass-tumor? Who the other day said stupidly "ya'll seen a basset hound around here?"

leenie: no crazy cat lady lives upstairs

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  wtf? That thing moves like .1 mile an hour. She could have looked within about 20 feet and likely found it, shuffling slowly away

leenie: she should say "have you seen a large tumor w/ a dog attached to it?"

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  lolol that poor thing, it can't possibly make a successful getaway

You'd always find it, from the squeals of terrified children

I should steal that dog and get that poor thing removed

leenie: she lets it shit all over

doesnt pick it up. i told on her.

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  good! maybe they'll evict her, and she'll be forced to give her dog to someone who will care for it

leenie: i got my apt manager to put up doggy bags w/ poopy disposal bins

so she has no excuse now

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  that's awesome!!!

leenie: ill talk shit to her if i see her still leaving it.

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  we need some of those around here for the bums hahaha, "talk shit"

leenie: pun intended*

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  good, that's seriously shameful for them to leave their site like that

i almost stepped in bum-poo the otherday

it was...yeah, no words.

at first i was like "no, it's gotta just be a big dog's..."

but there was a candy wrapper and beer can sitting next to it.

leenie: ugh. that's seriously foul.

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  yeah, part of me was like "it's ok kim, it's ok. it's just gorilla poo. yeah....that's it."

somehow that was less disturbing.

leenie:  sure gorillas have much better poo

they have a natural diet. they dont feast on garbage and malt liquor.

bums wash down garbage w/ malt liquor

gorillas eat foliage and berries.

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  haha

leenie: i'd rather step on gorilla turds anyday

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  i want to google gorilla poo to see, but i'm at work

hahaha

leenie: haha they might think you have some sick fetish.

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  well, my search (did it anyway) yielded two awesome pics:

(neither of poo)

http://www.denverzoo.org/images/gorilla_baby_mom_lg_4627_dp.jpg

http://madmumblings.com/photopost/data/500/thumbs/gorilla.jpg

leenie: does that gorilla have bagpipes?

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  yes. yes, he does.

A bag pipin' gorilla.

leenie: ok if there was ever a reason for interspecies lovins... it'd be a sexy skilled gorilla like that!

KimRod (GSMotNKK):  hahaha

Mar 23, 2007

attempting to sleep w/ my eyes open

lena: i'm so sleepy

megan: i'm fucking anxious

megan: i want out of this office

lena: me too

lena: it's kinda like prison

megan: hehe

megan: papercut on pinky = brutal

lena: it's like in prison... when someone stabs you for pudding

megan: i almost spit out my coke.

 

ha.

word of the day

Word of the Day *edited*

Wal-Mart - [wawl-mahrt]
-adj.
1. A backwoods dolt lacking entirely in propriety. [by lena]
2. Provincial, republican, luddites that typically drive SUV's, reject change, and do not give a flip about you or anything, unless you are raising taxes. [by kelly]
-------------------------------------------

[To Kelly] I was preparing my lunch and **Wal-Martian identity protected** looked at me and said "Soup in a box? That ain't right!" *Rolls eyes* Hahahha! 

 

Kelly said, "***** is so Wal-mart". I just laughed my ass off and said "OMG that is the epitome of the perfect adjective for her"! The Kelly sent me the email below...

Soup? In a BOX??!!  That's just not right.  What's next?  Sugar in a box?  Toothpaste in a box?  sodas in a box?  The world has gone mad, I tell you.  Things today are just not right.  It's anarchy, I tell you what.  Why, the Wal-Mart I shop at would NEVER carry anything in a box.  No sir-ee-bob.  None, of this hippie boxed foods for me.  I'll eat my vienna sausages from a can, the way God intended, thank you very much. 

 

I lmao'd!

I am a hipster b/c I am hip. So... FUCK OFF.

the hipster kit

follow up to my comic:

**It also helps to be sickly thin to the near point of emaciation**

THE ACT

(1.) Know all the coolest hangouts.

(2.) Know the most popular 5 crappy indie bands and blabber about them incessantly.

(3.) Go to said cool hangouts, snort a line in the bathroom, purchase a $2 lonestar, and blabber incessantly about said crappy bands and the philosophical ideas of Ayn Rand.

(4.) To avoid answering "I'm a 24 year old pizza boy" when asked what you do you can shout "Whoa, my favorite Editors song!" and run to the center of the dancing scenester sluts and start flailing your arms and dry humping the drunkest looking one. She'll probably make out with you. Also, anyone you may meet and converse with for longer than 5 minutes would probably appreciate this move in order to avoid punching you for annoying the crap out of them.

**WARNING**

Being a neat and cool hipster still won't prevent you from being lured into hipster traps or getting your annoying ass punched by a redneck....

Nuto Manicular. First show will be late August. Band member auditions will begin in a couple weeks.

Current mood:creative

[noot-oh [muh-nik-yuh-ler], nyoot-oh [muh-nik-yuh-ler]]

1.of recent origin, production, purchase, etc.; having but lately come or been brought into being: a new book.

2.any of several brilliantly colored salamanders of the family Salamandridae, esp. those of the genera Triturus and Notophthalmus, of North America, Europe, and northern Asia.
3.(used as an expression of surprise, pain, disapprobation, etc.)
4.having only one eye.
I picked this name out circa 2003 for my prescient future band for which I will play keyboard. I took lessons for 8 years from the sweetest lil' lady Isabell Ammons. She farted incessantly, but just pretended nothing happened. It was so difficult stifling laughter whilst playing Minuet in G. Our first hit will be a song I wrote entitled "Mitochondria".... in Japan.
Addendum: I may want to play drums...! I got pulled on stage to play drums for some band called "Gay Duo", I believe at Creekside sometime in early August and in my opiniom... I made them way better!!! And not just b/c I am hot. :-)
- little leenie ©

Love / Hate Poems for Idiots & One Hot Chic

Apr 8, 2008

Dear Olive Garden Online Stalker Guy [for aforementioned, age 24]

we met through a friend
at a party's how it began
and from thereafter it never ends...
you perused her top friends
to find my MySpace page
then again MyStalked my profile
found my screenname for AIM
then with the incessant texts
where you verbally accosted me about my privates
and my stance on anal sex.
"Look I don't even know you...
this is inappropriate and so un-venerate.
Please stop im'ing me, you fucking degenerate."
But alas even blocking... could not stop this pest.
Months go by and out of no where I get this
"I saw you at my work..
I was wearing a little vest"
"Who the fuck is this?"
"The online stalker degenerate."
"You've gotta be fucking kidding me...
what do you not understand...
about fuck off and die...
and never message me again!"
My love of breadsticks w/ alfredo
is why I keep going...
and minestrone soup
salad's goddam slamming.
But you olive garden stalker degenerate,
please get defenestrated.
I know you'll read this
b/c you're a socially inept dolt
w/out a scintilla of friends
B/C YOU SUCK!
The End.

How I miss thee, Rhi! [for my lesbo lover, age 24]

Rhianna is the hottest chic
a gorgeous smile and to-die-for tits
she's been swept away to a far away place
New Braunfels give her back,
for I miss her beautiful face!
Just to see her now I'd probably pay 8 million pesos
that's probably like 8 bucks
but damn I miss those besos...
My life sans Rhianna is pretty effin' lame.
Until she returns good times just won't be the same!!!

Forward [for Count Chocula, age 24]

yesterday, i hated life
day to day, so much strife
i took it in stride
or, for the most part i tried
you resurface soon after you fade
and wreck me in the worst possible way
i take it in stride
well, at least i try
trying is better than wanting to die
i want to keep going
so that you will again fade away
go into the abyss
your abominable abuse with a loaded fist
i move forward
a new factor... a new phase
a realistic rage?
no, the questions of tomorrow override yesterday's
i move forward.

Cessation [for the troglodyte of schadenfreude, age 25]

Style those fantasies
with criticizing grins.
I'm locked up with an open heart
unwilling to give in.
Pull it tight by the harness
and fuck me again.
Mentally, you screw me...
kick me twice in the shin.
Shutter the atrocities:
it's filth underneath your skin.
Wash it away?
You can't,
it goes down to the bone.
It flows in tiny platelets.
Sit on your illusive throne.
Who you are now,
is not who you were then.
---
The rambunctious freedoms...
of being lonely again.

daft punk - something about us

It might not be the right time
I might not be the right one
But there's something about us I want to say
Cause there's something between us anyway

I might not be the right one
It might not be the right time
But there's something about us I've got to do
Some kind of secret I will share with you

I need you more than anything in my life
I want you more than anything in my life
I'll miss you more than anyone in my life
I love you more than anyone in my life

Romance is STUPID, a poem by a sentient being [still enamored]... my amorous endeavor.

I love romance. 
I am a romantic. 
I want romance. 
I want a romantic.
Why is it that...
every man I love...
it turns south?
Your bellicose belt
so it seems...
I sleep to dream...
but of good things
then it comes:
pernicious slumber.
Better days do not haunt me...
as Chavez did sing.
So, it is spoken
and often I sing...
you brought your offer to the table...
but why didn't you bring:
stability?
longevity?
respect?
your words to keep?
you histrionic man!
preternatural man...
errant man...
dissimulative man!
I love you.
heed this:
I limn what you have left me
through hortatory means...
I am vapidly supine.
Be that which you never explicate
so that you may apprise me of your pain.
Mental anguish shall not reign...
Away with emotive malaise.
I came here just to love you...
why did you turn me away?
This thing we had...
so veritable.
You know,
I knew.
My contrite malversation...
a mess from my melange with you.
My life's conflagration
...love / hate intermittenly strewn...
could be assuaged
by only you.
Mimetic valetudinarians...
gossipy prattle ensues.
*Insert some timeless adage*
Ultimately, you'll see the truth.
Here, I unveil this late night's cerebration
so that I may explicate to you...
everything I've put on the table
[for your eyes only]
remains true.
This is my billet-doux to you.

- me February 2001 {of sorts}

-----------------------------------------------------------------

*Some timeless adage [inserted]*:

"Love seeketh not Itself to please,
"Nor for itself hath any care,
"But for another gives its ease,
"And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair."

So sang little Clod of Clay
Trodden with the cattle's feet
But a Pebble of the brook
Warbled out these metres meet:

"Love seeketh only Self to please,
"To bind another to Its delight,
"Joys in another's loss of ease,
"And builds a Hell in Heaven's despite."

William Blake (1757-1827)